Love Signs

Love Signs


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Hey, baby! What’s your sign?
Sagittarius? Aquarius?
Capricorn? Unicorn?
Oh, you’re a Scorpio.
Well, then you must be a real prick.

Hey, baby! What’s your sign?
Are you a Pisces? An Aries?
A Taurus? A Brontosaurus?
Oh, you’re a Cancer?
Then, stay away from me, baby.
That’s what killed my Grandma.

Hey, baby! What’s your sign?
Libra? Leo?
Gemini? Firefly?
Oh, you’re a Virgo.
Well, let me be the first to show you how to fuck.

Your lucky number is: 69
Hey, baby. What’s your sign?


I’m a Pisces. Obviously.

Do you want to learn how the cosmos affect your daily life, relationships, and job? Of course, you do! Seems like ancient history now, but Astrology used to be a weird little part of American life in the late 1960’s through the 1990’s. Newspapers printed your daily horoscope, while magazines and books provided more in-depth analysis for the eager. Look at American movies and tv from the 70’s. The zodiac is everywhere!

My song, Love Signs, is a spoof on this vintage Astrological pop culture movement where your “sign” tells me everything I need to know about you. Oh, you’re a Scorpio? Let my check my horoscope to see if now is a good time for us to fuck.

Lyrically, I’m being a smart ass, and I think my jokes are funny. But, there’s no real musical genius here. It’s a sassy mix of spoken word, and well, I guess, rap? I don’t know. My favorite musical moment comes at the end with all the funkity funk of the 69 refrain. Lord, please, if you remix this song, don’t miss the opportunity for a DISCO MOMENT!!! This whole song could sound straight outta the 70’s. So, funk it up! Or, don’t. Consult your stars.

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